You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
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I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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