it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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