Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
he thought i was a dude.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
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I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
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YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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