Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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