ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
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This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
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Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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