just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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