She is in my trunk
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize