I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
from now on my penis is your penis
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
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He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
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I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize