i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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