I think I died a long time ago.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize