We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Sorry my hands just texted you
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize