Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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