Barsexuality is the new black.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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