it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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