Ambien. No doubt about it.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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