dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
So gin and wine won't be happening again
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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