Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. you can't hotbox the world.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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