I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
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