Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize