Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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