Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
So vagazzling was a success
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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