i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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