Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
The uberlube is also flammable
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize