she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
