she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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