Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
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