At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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