Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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