he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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