Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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