On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize