I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Randomize