It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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