Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
me + whiskey = a bad person
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize