what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
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We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
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if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
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