i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize