You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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