I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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