Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize