yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize