It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize