I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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