absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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