I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
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