Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
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I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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