I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize