Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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