I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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