The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize