so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
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security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
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He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
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