If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
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I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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