I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize